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| February 05, 2010 |
| Open Question: Do you ever feel this way? |
I feel like I'm equally feminine and masculine inside, like I don't have an actual gender, though I'm of a very sexual nature. I'm bubbly and a little cunning, I have a wraunchy and dark sense of humor, I enjoy flirting and I'm bi. I feel comfortable in men's clothing, but I typically wear provocative but not feminine clothing, a wife beater and some black skinnies with a studded belt and maybe some heels, but I feel like I'm wearing a costume or playing dress up if I wear lingerie or heels or makeup, though I love it. I feel like a guy cross dressing, though I feel attractive and sexual. "Ooh, women's clothing looks so cute on me!" is what I think, instead of 'Ooh, this top looks cute on me!" I feel like it suits me, but even though I am a girl I go back and forth between dressing like a man and dressing like a woman, though my personality does not change. There are never days when I feel like a man or only like a woman, I just do whatever I want. People are attracted to me in both types of dress, which are both flattering on me, but I've been told by a close bi friend that though she feels attracted to me as another woman sexually, she doesn't think of me as a member of either gender mentally. I'm only sexually active as a woman, and I can't see that ever changing. I feel like a two-spirit, anyone else feel the same way?
I go by a foreign name, Elgin, that is neither male or female, though my nicknames are girly variations of it. (e.g Ellin, Elle, Elly, Ginny, Ginger, Ginji) I feel like female names and male names don't suit me, it has to be work for either gender, or I feel like I'm lying in a sense. Pretending to be something I'm not. Weird, eh?
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